That horrible feeling...

You know when you read or see or hear something? And you just don't know what to think, and you feel like you've been stabbed and you feel sick and you just wish you didn't hear/see/read the thing?

It's a horrible feeling, and your mind goes blank and eurgh it's just so horrible

So yeah...that's that.

Horrible

Giving up

You shouldn't really give up on anything. You keep trying and trying until it either works, or you let it go. But never give up.

I tell myself this a lot but sometimes, like now, it just doesn't work. I don't want to give up on you, but you've been ignoring me for the past week and a half and I don't know why, well I do, it's because I like you. 

This always happens when someone finds out, and to be truthful, it's such a horrific feeling. It makes you feel so bad because someone, a good friend, just completely stop talking to you all because you like them? It just fills you with doubt and makes you think what's wrong with me? Is my looks? The way I act? My appearance? 

You just don't know. And it's horrible. 

But there's usually a light at the end of a tunnel, when they find out you like someone else, they suddenly begin talking to you. Is it because there jealous of the other person? Or is it because they know you don't have feelings for them anymore...

This is one of many things in life that is just awful to hear

Tips

1) learn from your mistakes

2) listen to yourbest friend 

3) don't tell anyone apart from your best friend who you like

4) don't tell the person you like you like them unless you know they feel the same way

5) don't think about situations

6) just go with the flow

Out of these 6, I have followed only one! (Number 4)

I learnt the hard way. Twice. 

So apparently someone told the person I like that I like them, which if true means I've lost 2 really good friends in the space of one school term. How delightful. 

I think it's too much effort trying to deny it if confronted, so if she says anything I'm just going to say 'yes I do like you' and then I would have broken tip number 4! Lucky me.

I over think too much. Far far too much. I was on the bus today and it wasn't that bad and I sat there watching everything as I do and looking at people's body language taking everything in and spotted a 'micro-expression' (nasty little buggers they are) now for those who don't know what a micro-expression is it's when someone's facial expressions mess up for a fraction of a second (around 1/25th of a second roughly) so you only see it subconsciously, which I did, and a micro-expression is usually a little smirk, or the persons true feelings, but it's so quick that you don't notice unless you've trained yourself to see them. So I spotted a micro-expression and only realised before when I thought about it so naturally I'm led here now thinking what caused it and all this other nonsense, even though it's easier if I just disregard it. 

So my next challenge comes in the morning! Trying to spot more micro-expressions and reading more body language.

Oh and my exams start on Tuesday! Lovely.