I'm pathetic. So very pathetic.
I need to truly accept the fact that it's all in the past, it can't be changed, nothing will happen, she's talking to someone who appears to be making her happy and smile and I should be happy that she is.
I often think that if I keep telling myself something then I'll believe it. I know for a fact I am not over the person I had a thing for over Christmas and was rather close with, but it didn't mean anything to her and I just need to forget it all.
Except I can't.
It, to me, was amazing. Being close and intimate to someone, kinda feeling like the feelings where mutual, only for it to just be friends and not lead anywhere. I knew this at the time but part of me kept thinking something could happen from it,
but it never did.
I just need to forget it.
I tried moving on to someone else but we don't even talk so it isn't worth it, she's amazing too but we just speak in person which is good, but it isn't leading anywhere. A lost cause maybe?
There was also another one who I talk to and get on with quite well, but that can't work for other reasons...
I just need to forget everything and give up. Forget relationships, forget trying to impress people. Just focus on myself.
I've spent enough of my life being selfless, maybe it's time to be more selfish?
Who knows.
Only time will tell.
