Relationships

I miss being in a relationship. 

I want to be in a relationship. 

I probably (most definitely) wont be in a relationship. 

If I was, I'd want to be able to;

Cuddle.

Be with that person. 

Not have many arguments. 

Both of us be happy. 

Someone who is busy like I am soit isn't   unfair on them as I'm always busy.

Hugs. 

Kisses. 

And just that generally cute shit. 

Most people I know are in a relationship and then there's just me sat there chilling on my lonesome while they're being all cute and shit and eurgh.

The person I like isn't texting me back, and I'm thinking of giving up liking her because that way it stops me getting jealous and I'm sure she'd be happier without me. 

I know I always say to people;

"Never give up"

And I always think of a quote by Winston Churchill;

"If you're going through hell keep going"

But. I can't. I mentally can't keep doing this day in, day out. 

It makes me upset. 

I always over think. 

I get worked up or make silly presumptions. 

When in reality;

It's not meant to be. 

And on another note;

Finding out something about the person you liked for ages that just makes you think

"Well. Shit"

That's horrible. Even heartbreaking. 

I don't know what to do anymore. 

I can't talk to anyone about it because I know what they'll say.

They'll say "shit happens and life's a bitch and you'll just have to get over it"

Which is entirely correct. 

But. 

I can't do it. 

I just want a relationship. 

A happy one. 

Not many arguments. 

Actually enjoying her company. 

Having fun with her. 

Being able to go to work and not have her complain like my ex ALWAYS did. 

Someone understanding. 

Lovely. 

Kind. 

It's so much to ask for. 

And that's why I'm not going to. 

I don't know what I'm going to do. 

But it's easier to smile and say "I'm okay"

That admit your a pile of shit and emotionally compromised. 

Life's great. Isn't it?