This is for you

Hello you

I know you've not been feeling too good recently and I've been talking to you and trying to cheer you up but I've done a crap job at it. I know you'll pull through fine, I know you probably will never read this, but because I've been texting you more recently my feelings towards you have increased. 

I suppose I do kind of like you, but I know you don't like me the way I like you, and even if you did, I couldn't put you through the pain of being in a relationship with me. If we could just lie some where and cuddle for a while that would suit me fine, I know I'm friend zoned by you and pretty much everyone else I talk to, but I just wish I could make you happy. 

I've seen your tweets, you say you can't see your self in a relationship anymore, well I can, because truth be told you are one of the most (if not the most) beautiful girl I know. You always look so happy and bubbly and you are so nice and lovely to talk to, and I think that's what made me fall for you. 

You haven't been replying recently and it's made me panic and think I've annoyed you, I don't want to stop talking to you because your a great friend, but this seems to always happen to me, I just wish I could talk to you in person but I won't see you for a while, so I'll stop texting you and annoying you, but I just want you to know I will always be here for you, no matter what time it is, where I am, or how we are, you are important to me and I will make time for you. 

I hope you feel better soon, because it kills me inside knowing your upset, but your strong so keep going and hang on in there. 

If you saw this post you'd probably never speak to me again, and that would pain me so much, but if it meant you were happier without me, then I can live with that, if there is anything I can do to help you, please tell me, I'll do anything to try and help you

Good luck beautiful, you'll do fine

Oh Hello You!

Hello Blogging world!!

I've not posted anything ages, that because of my stupid exams, but now there all gone yey!

But now it's an end of an era, no more school, on to college and future life. I don't want to leave, because I've met so merrily inspirational people and to be honest I'm scared of loosing them, especially ones who mean something to me. 

There's some people who I'll quite happily see the back of and others who I couldn't face loosing at this point in life. I don't know what I'm trying to say here but what I want to say is this;

I like someone

And I love someone

Because the person I've loved I have for 5 years, this means that who I like, I can't go out with, not that I have any chance with them what so ever, but because I wouldn't allow them to have to suffer with the constant fear of having to compete or getting jealous because I talk to loads of girls all the time.

The girl I like at the moment, she's bloody brilliant. She's got an awesome personality, always lovely and bubbly and she'll put a smile on anyone's face and brighten everyone's day. She's beautiful, fit, kind, caring and understanding. She's just great, but every rose has its thorn, and although she's always happy, there are times when she's sad, and that's the worst thing to see, the person you like, crying her eyes out or upset over something, but the worst bit is when you can't actually do anything about it, you can't help them, you can only sit and watch. 

You see, the girl I like, she trusts me with stuff and knows I'm always here for her, but that's what I'm scared of loosing. I couldn't face not being able to help her or be the one for her to talk to, she's just so great. 

Generally, I just wish I could be there with her when she's upset and actually give her a hug or hold her tight when she's upset, and one day I hope I will. I want her to be able to text or ring me in the middle of the night and for me to simply reply or say "I'm on my way" to me that's what I'd love, just being there to comfort and console her.

But life isn't nice like that usually

But there's no harm in trying right?