Update

My life currently, is shit. 

I constantly feel shit, have massive mood swings and waves of depression anger sadness and happiness, and i don't know why. 

I have much to sort at work but I'm not in the correct mental state to do it. 

I hate love and relationships, it just messes life up constantly. 

I like someone, they, more than likely, do not like me back. (Nothing unusual there) I told her the other week I like her, that was a big mistake, it was awkward for a few days and then we started snapchatting more and talking more and we even had a 2hr conversation on night before leaving work. I really don't know where I stand with her. It was only until earlier today that I found something out that I didn't want to know. You can probably guess what...

So since I found that out I've been feeling rather sick both mentally and physically, the last two days I haven't been well and feeling about under the weather but this hasn't helped. 

The bit that annoys me the most is the fact I get so wound up about it. Currently, I'm not interested in getting into a relationship, and I don't see me doing in the near future. So all in all, I'm a fucking idiot. 

I have no idea what to do. I just want companionship I think, but again, I don't know, I want to be with her but I'm too busy at the moment for s relationship as I'm scared of loosing her if we were to  enter into a relationship.

I feel like I can't talk to people about it because they don't understand my situation and how I feel, so I try and keep it all bottled in but that always ends badly, I just don't know. I want to be able to sleep and wake up in the morning feeling happy and refreshed. 

Ha. 

Like that's going to happen. 

March

Sometimes I don't know why I bother, I make the effort and it is very rarely returned. I'm getting sick and tired of being used and spoken to only when people want something. I do people favours that are never returned and sometimes not even thanked. My so called "friends" go behind my back and when I tell them something that they say they won't tell anyone about they go and fecking tell the person it's about. 

I seriously don't know why I bother. 

Currently I feel like shit and there's nothing I can really do about it. I like someone, more so than I thought I would but I don't see any point as I'm making an effort and there's nothing being returned. My friend has gone and told the person I like them and someone else has guessed I like them through Twitter....there's nothing even on Twitter!!!

I'm just fed up of everything right now and I just want to sleep but I can't because of the bloody show and loads of other shit that's running through my mind...

To make it worse, I'm currently hating work due to one idiot person but also enjoying because of another. 

Nothing is going right for me at the moment and I'm constantly feeling like shit. So yeah, happy March everyone.