Jealousy...and love

The feeling of jealousy is horrific.
It affects each and everyone one of us.

It could be about an object.
A person.
A status.
Wealth.
Position.
Attitude.
Looks.
Confidence.
And anything and everything else.

Love and jealousy are two things that go together extremely well.

You begin to like a person, you fall in love. They're all you can think about. You can pick them out in a crowd.
And then you start noticing.
You notice how she talks to him more than you. You notice how close they are. It seems to you like they're getting closer. It makes your feel sick. It makes you want to cry. Want to run away and never come back.
Then you try to stop loving that person. That beautiful, amazing person, and it just won't happen. No matter how hard you try. No matter what. And even if you do manage to stop, he still annoys you because at the end of the day, he's still closer to her than you.
The worst part is when he's your best friend. You go home and you cry. Because he's your best friend and you feel like you hate him because he's so close to her and your so far away.
It used to be the other way round.
He liked her.
I was the one that was close.
And then when you think about that, it just makes you feel so upset. So angry.
Because to you, to you she is the true definition of perfection. You love her with all your heart and you feel sick at the thought of loosing her.
But you know it will never be.
You won't get her.
And yet you still can't stop loving her.

You talk to your other friends about it. But it's usually no hope. You think you've become bi-polar because you can go from extremely happy to extremely upset or angry in a click.
But your not.
You are in love.

It feels like a curse sometimes.

And there's no cure.


Except for her.
She's the cure.
She can end your pain.

But, how many times does that happen?

Hardly ever.


I can relate so much to this post, not just because I wrote it all, but because this is one of true feeling. It's a story. A story about my love for someone. Everyone who knows who I am knows who she is. I truly feel like I have a curse. And yes, he is one of the few people I call my best friends but yet he angers me so much. I'm sure alot of people can relate to this, and I can't even believe it but I'm led here in bed and crying over all of this. I know she knows I like her, I don't know how, but I know she knows. And when the person you like finds out you like them, well that's the end. They usually stop talking to you. It becomes mega awkward and you'll be sat in a class that there in, even on the same table. And you can't look at them. You feel so sick and want to cry. And then worst thing happens. One tear. Just one. Out of the corner of your eye. Just one little swine that you blink out. And you watch it in slow motion as it falls and lands on your book. And then you look up at her. And she's watching you. You make eye contact ad she quickly looks away. You just want to die. You over think everything. And then you have a hot fluster and feel so faint and just want to curl up. This is the horrible truth of what happens when your in love.

To all the people who read this, I'm sorry. It just all came out as I wrote it.