All my feelings for someone all came back at once and now I really miss her and I was crying as I walked home because of it and the worst bit is I know she doesn't like me how I like her and I know she never will and yet in my head I can actually vividly see a future of me and her together, and just knowing that it won't happen just kills me inside.
But I also like another girl, but my friendship with her is a proper one, if you get me? Like I was walking down the drive with her once and it took us about 2 minutes at most? And in that time we had a decent conversation and it flowed and it didn't get awkward and I made her laugh and she made me laugh and it was great, but I don't get that with the other girl, but to me I think she's beautiful and amazing and really funny and cute and I'd just love to be in a relationship with her.
I'd like that with them both, but with only one of course.
But one thing that's been on my mind recently is what if I only still like the first one because I have for 5 years and it's just natural for me, which is horrible because that isn't fair on her.
If anyone actually reads this your probably thinking 'JUST TELL THEM BOTH AND SEE WHAT THEY SAY' and in all honesty, I am highly tempted in doing just that. And then probably regret it and cry. Yey
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